Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day to you all!  I realize I'm a little late, but hey, it's the thought that counts, right?
We can pretend, anyhow.

Yesterday morning I was moping.  I had just heard that my heartthrob Adam Young had professed his love to Taylor Swift in honor of Valentine's Day, and I was bummed out. I was feeling exactly why my dear Purple Hippo Girl calls February 14th Single Awareness Day.  I consumed copious amounts of chocolate and tried not to wail, "Why can't you see? You belong with me..."
Actually, I might have wailed it once or twice.
But moving on.
I was moping because I had not a valentine.  And part of me was like, "Heck, Christina, what would you do with a valentine?  It's not like you can have one just for a day, so you don't feel lonely while everyone else is being happy because they're in love."
And the other part was like, "Maybe if I eat 17 Reese's Cups that voice will just die and leave me alone in my miserable aloneness."
So I did, and then I dragged myself around my empty house forlornly, pitying the misery that was I. I put on Relient K's CD Forget and Not Slow Down and consoled myself with the thought that at least Matt Thiessen was lonely like me this Valentine's Day.  That didn't help (and wasn't overtly nice, though true), so I decided I'd start in on my homework, but I was feeling unproductive and almost fell asleep several times over the Aeneid.

I was really feeling the 'Guess I'll go eat worms' vibe.

I headed downstairs just because my family was back from the random places it went that morning, and while I was downstairs I realized:  "What the heck am I doing?  This is stupid.  Why am I moping for no reason?"
I put down my chocolate and decided I would email some friends the cutest love song in the universe.  Then I heard Mom was heading to the store, and I decided to tag along.  I was going to do something, dang it.  Valentine's Day would not stop me.

I picked up a rose while we were at the store.  I had wanted to get a dozen, but I didn't have that much money.  I kamikaze surprise-attack showed up at my best friend's house (we'll call her Lady Beautiful) and gave it to her.  I hurried home and started baking cupcakes, which I frosted and decorated with purple hippos before delivering them to Purple Hippo Girl's house.  She was sick, so she couldn't eat them, but cupcakes are her favorite thing in the world so hopefully she can enjoy them when she gets to feeling better.

I was kind of surprised by the time I got home.  My day had gone from a stereotypical, I'm-single-and-sad-this-Valentine's-Day to a really good normal day.  And all because I stopped paying attention to myself and tried to bless others!

Yeah, it sounds stupid.  But I was happy with this, and I think I helped make the days of my lovely single friends a little bit better.

I also wrote the world's worst Valentine's Day poem last night.  It only rhymes sometimes, and the kid giving it is only trying to outdo someone else because he was dared to.  There is no real syllable sequence to it...  just a kid talking.  And it rhymes sometimes.
Basically think of it as the one you would never want to get, ladies.  And gentlemen... well, never give it.

I hope it makes you laugh.

Your day-late friend,

That Random Kid’s Valentine Poem
February 14, 2011

Roses are red
But sometimes they’re orange
But color is nonessential
To my love as high as the Blorenge

Which isn’t that high
but we can pretend
Cuz I love you more than that guy
And I’m trying to beat him anyhow

But back to our poem
Happy Valentine’s Day
Here’s some chocolates, I bought ‘em
You don’t need to know they’re from 2002

Or that I got them from Larry
that weird kid from 5th grade
He thinks they might be cherry
but I hope not, cuz I’m allergic

And getting sick would stink
Especially if it was from getting you stupid chocolates
But it’s not what you think
Because I’m sure he said 2002

And he’s wanted to give
them to you all this time
Please take them so I can live
because this was a—

No wait, I’m not supposed to tell
But I guess it doesn’t matter
That kid with the smell
Dared me to do it

Not Larry, but Stu
because he was sure
That that guy would ask you
to be his Valentine

And he didn’t like that
So here I am, with this chocolate
I hope you know it will make you fat
Hurry up and take it so I can sit down.

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