Saturday, December 3, 2011

Christmas and July

Some things put me in better moods than others.
For example, colds.  Colds put me in bad moods.
And the SAT.  That put me in a kind of bad mood yesterday (it's over now).
But some things put me in really really good moods.  Like Christmas music.



I'm feeling a bit chatty and feel like elaborating on why I picked some of these songs, so you'll have to endure my little spiel here for a minute.  That or just scroll down.

Sleigh Ride (Relient K)-- This is my favorite favorite favorite Christmas song in the history of the entire universe and all of existence.  I don't know if it's just because it's an absolutely adorable love song (I mean, what girl doesn't swoon at the line "It's grand just holding your hand"?) or if it's just because it's Matt Thiessen (And ANY weather is lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with that guy, I mean, really.).  Either way, it brings back great memories of when he started to play it at the concert last year . . . I swear fifteen girls squealed at the top of their lungs, myself and my friend Jess included.  He paused and grinned before he kept singing, like he just *knew* all those girls were absolutely dying inside.  Also every time I hear "Yoohoo~"  I've got to think of him.  "Yeah, that's how my friends get a hold'a me . . . (super crazy high girl voice) 'Yooohooo~~~!'"
Auld Lang Syne (Relient K)-- This isn't really a Christmas song necessarily, but I've always considered it my personal birthday song.  Why?  Well, apparently people sing it on New Years Eve annually to usher in the new year.  I didn't know that until just a few minutes ago, actually . . . I found that little fact when I googled the story that I remember hearing when I was little . . . When Thomas Edison was showing off his fancy new phonograph, he did it on New Years Eve.  I don't know the exact year, but it was somewhere around the end of the 1870s or the beginnings of 1880s.  Anyway, after he showed it off, they all sang Auld Lang Syne as the year turned.  The guys of Relient K harmonize like angels in this song.  I can't get enough of it, and since it's so important to me it's like my own personal birthday present from Relient K!  What's not to love?
All I Want For Christmas is You (House of Heroes)-- This song.  This song makes me grin and dance and croon into my hairbrush.  Tim Skipper's voice is just fabulous, and every remake of this Mariah Carey song I've heard can't top this one.  I didn't even like her version after I heard the HoH remake.  It's simply smashing~  And when he hits those notes on "You, baby"?  Gives me chills.
His Favorite Christmas Story (Capital Lights)-- This is a Capital Lights original, actually.  I love the story behind it--  It just feels like an original, old-timey, feel-good story.  Like It's a Wonderful Life, but a song. :3 It makes me believe things like this really happen.  And the last chorus?  Totally the best part.
Carol of the Bells/Sing We Now Of Christmas (BarlowGirl)-- I can't get over how lovely the Barlows voices are here.  Their harmonies are captivating and entrancing.  I had ever even heard of Sing We Now Of Christmas before this medley, and I love it with all my heart.  I really love melancholy and aching Christmas songs, such as Come, O Come Emmanuel (House of Heroes), which somehow always has the feeling of desperation to me, and God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen (Relient K), which Matt Thiessen described as just downright creepy last year.  I don't really concur (like I said, it's one of my favorites) but, hey, I'm not arguing with Matty T.
And then others of these just make me giggle, like Christmas Shoes (FM Static) and Jingle Bell Rock (Thousand Foot Crutch).
Okay gonna stop there.  This post is years long already.


But to continue . . . You know what else puts me in a good mood?
I really love it when I find an old poem or something of mine that I think really does not stink.  I found some old poems, all dated July 30th, 2011 and decided I should post them, because I like them rather a lot.  That and I haven't posted any actual writings for your viewing pleasure in probably something more than 17 months (that's a lie.).

Enjoy! :]
Christina Kuri Icarus







Water
July 30, 2011

Water
is the perfect thing
to wash away
every pain

you can stand
and tilt your face up
and let it stream
down and cleanse you

and you can stand
in the rain
and try to forget all of your pain
and forget all the hurt

but you can only stand in the stream
for so long
before you start to shiver
and slowly freeze

because lying to yourself
is like sitting in snow
you can't do it forever
because you'll kill yourself

But you can't do that
because someone behind you
is waiting in a doorway
and watching for when
you'll want to return

or they're standing under the eaves
clutching an umbrella
watching for any sign of a shiver
watching so that they can help
help you become warm and dry again

Water
is a cold thing
and it doesn't seem to care
and this makes you feel better

you can lie
in its reach
and float and dream
that all your cares are floating, too
away

You can fold
and slip into its chilly embrace
and let the air leave your lungs
and let your problems leave with your breath

But you can't do that
because someone above you
is watching for you
on the solid ground
in the sun

or they're standing
in the water and the pain
and they've been with you the whole time
and they'll save you if you start
if you start to sink

For no matter how deep
the water is
how cold
how releasing

The pain will not last forever,
The hurt will last only a night,
And the people who were with you at the first
Will be with you through every fight.

They're watching for you
Because they care
and they love you, too
They'll bring you back to the air

The waters
will always be there
but so will the sun






True Strength
July 30, 2011

Strength is only
strong

When fears are
acted upon

For Strength is not
no fear

But Strength is action
anyway

I need someone to be Strong
for me

And I need someone to
Stand

And stand tall for me when
I can't

I'm waiting for
someone

But I'm not asking
for him

Because I know when
he comes

He can be
strong

And stand when
I can't

And do everything I
cannot do

And I will wait
forever

For I know he's being
changed

And prepared for
this

and I must be changed
as well

And that's the most glorious thing
of all




 Oh!  Guess what guys!  Just found some poems from October 21st of 2010!
I sounded kind of depressed.  Sorry in advance.


Decisions and Effects

I’ve decided
One can only do so much with words
and after a while
they’re exhausted
and demand a rest.

I’ve decided
Maybe all of this hype isn’t worth it
I say I want to write
What does that mean?
Do I know?

I’ve decided
Maybe I shouldn’t work with the exhaustible
but then, isn’t everything?
What doesn’t run out?
Is there anything?

I’ve decided
Maybe there’s nothing
that truly
goes on
forever

I’ve decided
I have to stick with my words
finite as they are
because I have
little else

I’ve decided
This too is meaningless
but then
we don’t have
much else




Creativity Is
Creativity is like a flood
a swift and violent stream
and when it has gone
it hurts as much as before

Creativity is like an ache
after something has left
but you don’t know why
you wanted it in the first place

Creativity is like a dream
that, when woken, makes you sick
and you want it but it just
doesn’t come back

Creativity is like a lightning strike
first it is here and alive
and now it is gone, and dead,
and no one knows whence it came

Creativity is like an illness
that lingers long after
it should be gone
but still it hangs on

Creativity is like a bane
that we hang on to
even though we all know
it’s killing us from the inside

Creativity is not as wonderful
as it pretends to be
and we should not help
prolong its pretension





It Shouldn't (but it is)
They shake their heads
and say “It shouldn’t be like this”
and I smile, sympathetic,
and nod

I know it shouldn’t
but it is
and no one can see past the
‘It shouldn’t’
to try to help

They say we have a hope
and I see why
but I have no such hope
only a wish it could be better

but my wish is ungrounded
because, as of yet, I do nothing
to help—to hinder—
I am passive
and there is my problem

I want someone to fix my problems
to make it be alright
but I’m at that point
where I’m the only one who can do anything

and I know it
Yes, I know it
but knowing helps not
and I’m trying to hide
behind my sympathetic smile
and my hypocritic nod
but it still hurts
inside
and I’m stuck
because

I do nothing




But I'm not going to leave you on that depressing note so here's my favorite from July 30th. :]
Struggle
July 30, 2011

We're in another fight today
You're going on and on
And I'm listening to what you say
Even though I've heard it all before.

Your volume increases
but I'm not reacting
Your face reddens
and I simply watch you

You’re fighting, but you’re not
fighting me.
So I am silent
with nothing to defend
and you are furious.

And your voice gets louder
Frustration overwhelming
But I remain silent
and I won't anger you.

But my silence does anger you,
it irks you and maddens.
You shout some more,
Call me names
Threaten everything I hold dear.
You'll destroy it all.

But you can’t, and I know it, so I sit.

And as you shout and rail and curse
I see exactly where you come from
And pity and sorrow overwhelm me
and I smile, with tears in my eyes

You
stop

And you see the sparkling sadness
welling up in my sad, sad eyes,
and instead of shouting,
there is just silence

and silence
goes on

as you
stare

And then, in a moment, your face changes
it melts and dissolves
and all I can see is a broken, hurting little child
and you fall to your knees

Your hands fly to your face
but as the first sob shakes your shoulder
I'm there
And I fold you into my arms

And I hold your hurting, heavy heart
and let you cry

and cry

and cry

Because you weren't ever mad at me

and I knew this
but you didn't
You were sad
sad with yourself

and you think you can't be forgiven

You try to push me away
Try to dry your tears
Try to be strong
Try to resolve yourself

But I won't let you
And I hold you tighter
and your tears soak through my clothes
and I am okay with this

The rain starts

The salty water
and raindrops
start to drip
together
off the hem of my clothes
and it's dripping red

Red as blood

And you gasp
And you stare
as you realize

you
make me bleed

you
are the one that caused me this pain

you
are responsible

and you stare

as you watch my life's blood
ooze away
mixed with salty tears
because of you

And you look up
you are open
and bewildered

And I look down
I am hurting
and holding you

And you open your mouth
but I lift a finger
and close your lips.

I hold you tighter to me
your head on my shoulder,
and I gently kiss your head

just to let you know

I had forgiven you
before you inflicted the first wound
and I will never hold this against you

For you know not what you do
You may always cry when I'm here
and I will always be here
And I will never
leave you alone

For I am Love

And then, holding you,
I stand

blood and water
streaming down

And I stand and smile at you,
And invite you

You are forgiven, My love.

Won't you come and spend forever in My arms?

And you're confused
and you don't understand
You look away

But when you look back
And your eyes meet Mine

you know
You aren't supposed to understand

but just choose
to accept
or reject

and you open your mouth
to give your answer
but the words don't come

You hesitate
and I watch you
and do not speak
and you're thinking

I stand, and wait

What is your answer, My love?

Is it yes?
or no?


5 comments:

  1. Anyone who likes TFK's Jingle Bell Rock must be given all kinds of respect.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Agree with Peter.
    I just got RK's Christmas album yesterday. For free from my youth pastor for winning a game.

    I haven't listened to it yet because my sound system in my room is all messed up, but I cannot WAIT! <3

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's a super great song. :]

    Oh. My. Gosh. Lisa. It is my favorite Christmas CD in the whole entire world. Sliegh Ride is delicious, and some of them are just laugh out loud hilarious (I'm Getting Nuttin' For Christmas, 12 Days, Hark The Herald Angels Sing, and Handel's Messiah, for example, are some of the ones I can't help but crack up during). The personality of Relient K really shines though. It's the best. <3

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ahaha XD I love Relient K Christmas songs. They're just so fun to listen to! Auld Lang Syne is...just about my favorite song EVER. Because that's what they sing at the end of the greatest Christmas movie EVER--It's a Wonderful Life. LOOOOVE THAT MOVIE. Man. Jimmy Stewart + Auld Lang Syne = 8D

    I love your poems. I also love finding old poems and laughing at how silly they sound, but then pausing and thinking about what exactly I was trying to say, and then deciding that I said it pretty darn well XD The old poems are my favorites <3

    Affect vs. Effect... These are the things in life which confuse me to no end XD I was trying to write an essay for Constitutional Law, and I kept having to stop and think EVERY SINGLE TIME I wanted to say "affect" or "effect". It was a drag XD

    This turned out to be a long comment :]

    ReplyDelete
  5. I FLIPPING LOVE JIMMY STEWART. OH MY GOSH.
    Also Auld Lang Syne <3 ^_____^
    I need to watch that movie. Like, tomorrow. :D

    Aww, I'm glad. The last one was by far my favorite.
    I love reading old poems too~ :3 It's kind of nostalgic. And I always end up finding something I had NO recollection of writing haha.

    I don't like words like that. They're lame. XD

    Ehh, it was a long post. I forgive you. XD

    ReplyDelete